


Love the Way You Are

by ababadaboop



Series: That Escalated Quickly [17]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Aftercare, Bathing/Washing, Begging, Body Worship, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Intense Orgasms, Light Dom/sub, Lube, Moaning, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Role Reversal, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transitioning, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, boy those are weird tags for me, in that they've talked about the kinky stuff before, look i can finally tag one of these with fluff!, talking about things responsibly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23518354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ababadaboop/pseuds/ababadaboop
Summary: Mal and Alex haven't had sex since Alex started noticing some specific effects of T, and Mal has been (im)patiently waiting to see his not-quite-new but definitely-improved body. It finally happens... and so do a lot of other things.
Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Series: That Escalated Quickly [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/826494
Comments: 14
Kudos: 37





	Love the Way You Are

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy, that's a lot of tags. and a lot of words, holy fuck.  
> Anyways, hello. It's me. I'm back. It's... been a while. This was not what I expected to post next, but I started typing on my phone and it ran away from me. I'm certainly not complaining; matter of fact, I, uh, had fun writing this, shall we say. And because it was just for fun, i only used knowledge i already had in my brain, so some things might be a little inaccurate or unrealistic. (...buuut this is pwp, how much realism do you expect?)  
> Small disclaimer: there is a lot of explicit discussion of trans male anatomy and a couple mentions of bottom surgery.  
> I think that's everything that needs to be said - have fun reading! ;)

Mal pulls away from the kiss, gasping, and stares up at her boyfriend, who is currently straddling her lap and grinding down against her very, very, _very_ hard cock - with his own. Normally, that thought wouldn't be so unbearably arousing, but it's _different_ this time, it's so different. Normally, the cock Mal feels against hers is artificial, a packer or a dildo, but this time, it's not. This time, it's all his, small, but completely, totally, utterly _real_ and _there_ and _unmistakably hard._ Mal whimpers and arches up into him, his heat and hardness resting perfectly along her entire, throbbing, aching length.

"Please," she moans. "Please, Alex, I want it. Please give it to me."

"You want it that bad, huh?" he asks, not entirely a question. "You want my dick?"

"Yes! Oh, god, yes, please, I want it so badly, please, Alex."

"Hmm... not yet," he decides, voice sure and strong, and Mal moans pitifully. They've been at this for a while, and he's just been teasing her more and more, figuratively dangling what she wants - which is his _fucking dick_ \- just out of reach. She'd be _ecstatic_ if it was literal, because she wants to _see it_ already, and he's not letting her have even that.

"I just wanna see it, Alex, please, I want to see your dick so badly, please show it to me. I can feel how hard you are, I really wanna see it, please," she begs.

"I said not yet," he answers, his tone more strict this time. "Pleasure me, rub your dick against mine, make me feel good, and then I might."

"Kiss me?" Mal tries.

"Greedy," Alex says coolly, but leans in to press his lips squarely to hers anyways. He's warm, so warm, especially his hands on her chest, grabbing, stroking, squeezing, to rile her up even further. His mouth is hot and wet, lips sliding and sucking and locking with hers, tongue alternately teasing and practically fucking her mouth. But between his legs, oh, that's by far the hottest. He hasn't let her see or touch anywhere down there for a while, not since he started really noticing growth. Now he _is_ touching her, though - in a way that she can barely stand because while she can feel it, he's not letting _her_ touch _him,_ especially with her hands, and not even letting her look beyond the hints she can see from outside his boxers. She's been craving this since he hinted at it after a shower last week, with a towel hanging loosely from his hips and water still beaded on his flushed skin. He's always been a massive tease, and this is nowhere _near_ an exception.

Mal knows her hands are twitching and squeezing and fluttering around his waist, the only place he's permitted her to touch so far, but she keeps them there. As Alex ravages her mouth, she rocks her hips up against his, rubbing their cocks together and trying so hard (heh) to make it better for him than it is for her. She has no clue if it's working or not, though, he's not reacting enough for her to tell. She gently nips at his bottom lip, sighing, and jerks her pelvis particularly hard, jostling him slightly.

"Mmh," he utters, still completely focused on her. She does it again, this time earning what would've been an "ah!" had they not been connected at the mouth. Suddenly remembering something he had loved before the intimacy pause, she rocks her hips from side to side, trying to get his cock to bump over hers, and-

"Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh, ahnnn, oh- Mal!" Alex shouts, voice wavering. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yesss, oh god, yes!"

"Hah," Mal says breathlessly under him. "I figured that'd still work."

"Shut-" he starts, cutting himself off as he crushes their lips together, now rutting against her himself. "God," he breathes, barely pausing. Mal moans up at him encouragingly - well, a little - okay, a _lot_ \- desperately and rolls her body smoothly. He clutches at her shoulders, then pushes her down as he pulls back.

"Can I please, Alex, can I please see you now, you're so gorgeous, I wanna see your pretty cock so bad."

He groans. "Come on, that's not fair, you know that's my weakness."

"I just wanna see you, honey, look and see how stunning you are everywhere, please, Alex."

"You just wanna look?"

"Ugh, no, I- you know what I meant, Alex, please show me your dick."

"Damn," he mutters. "Even when I'm in charge, you've still got a way with words, huh?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, sorry sorry - I know, I _know,_ I just want you so bad," Mal whines.

"It's okay, I know. Here," he says, and climbs off of her. "You kneel between my legs, okay? And close your eyes."

"Yes!" Mal exclaims. "Oh, yes, thank you, Alex, I love you so much," she babbles, getting off her back to kneel in front of Alex, who has rolled onto his. "Can I -?"she asks, tugging at the waistband of her own boxers. Alex raises an eyebrow at her. "May I? Please?"

"Yes."

"Oh, thank you." She scrambles out of them quickly, then gets back into position and closes her eyes tight. There's a few seconds pause, as Alex presumably waits to make sure she's not peeking, then shuffling and movement right there in front of her. He's so close, she can feel the air move as he does. One more big shift, then silence. She can feel anticipation buzzing in the air. There's a quiet _flop_ , and she shivers at the sound of his boxers hitting the floor. Her stomach twists in excitement.

"Okay," Alex says quietly. Mal snaps her eyes open, greedily drinking in the sight of his stunning naked body, but immediately lets her gaze drop to where she's been literally aching to see, and holy fuck, it is so much better than she could've ever imagined.

"Wow," she breathes as she stares. The hair on his legs and lower stomach is thicker, like she knew it was, like the rest of the hair on his body, but right at the peak of his legs is gloriously dark, thick and curling and wild. She wasn't expecting to love that so much. Alex shifts his hips, opens his thighs a little wider, and "holy mother of fuck, you look incredible," Mal blurts. She glances up to Alex's face and sees it bright red, embarrassed and flustered. "Oh. Sorry."

"No," he says, voice tight. "No, it's - that's good. Real good. Here, let me -" and he reaches between his legs with one hand, spreads apart the hair and skin, and -

"Wow. Holy - oh my god, wow. You're - you - oh, wow." Mal's nearly speechless as she looks at him. "Cock" really is an incredibly accurate term now. Not that they hadn't always called it that, but now it really looks the part. Alex has _grown,_ and fuck if it isn't the hottest thing Mal has ever seen in her life. His whole vulva is as dark and dusky pink as ever, but his cock, oh _god._ His cock has grown to what has to be a measurable length, and it's flushed an even deeper shade of red, hot and filled with blood and sticking out from the hood where it used to always be. He's _hard._ Actually, incredibly, undeniably, _visibly hard._

"Fuck," Mal whimpers. "Can I touch it? You, I mean? Oh, Alex, can I please touch your dick, please, I want it so badly."

"You really want me?" he asks, much shyer this time; he's actually waiting for an answer.

"Yes," Mal responds immediately. "Yes, absolutely, I want you, you're so fucking hot, can I please touch you?"

"I'm sensitive," he says. "It's sensitive, I mean, always has been, you know? And now there's just... more... it's bigger."

_"Yeah,_ it is."

"Mal!"

"Sorry."

"So, be gentle, and, um -" he reaches above his head and grabs something from between the pillows "- use this." It's lube.

Mal moans a little, cock throbbing as she takes in the situation. She's about to touch her boyfriend's junk for the _first time_ since he started seeing changes on T, he's just handed her a bottle of lube, and her only instructions are to use it and be gentle. She can handle that. She can _definitely_ handle that. As a matter of fact, she's _about_ to "handle that."

"I can just... touch you?" she says in awe, still staring.

"Yup." Alex is obviously embarrassed under her gaze, but Mal knows he'd tell her to stop if it was too much.

"Can I put my fingers in you?"

"As long as you use plenty of lube. I don't really... I don't really get wet like I used to."

"Can I use my mouth?"

She doesn't get a verbal response on that one, but a long, intense moan that flirts with the break in his voice.

"Yes?" she guesses.

"Yes, please," Alex groans, reaching a hand up to her hair. "Please... please suck me off."

Mal whimpers and immediately ducks down, putting her face much, much closer to where they both want it. God, he's even more impressive up close. She makes sure there's plenty of saliva on her tongue, then leans in and licks it, from the very tip to where it disappears under other skin.

Alex downright screams. But considering the spasming clench of his thighs and the sudden directionless yank on her hair, she's guessing it was a good one. So she does it again, this time laying her tongue along the hard nub and rippling the muscle. This time, she gets more of a moan - loud and exclamatory, but still just a moan - and the tight grip on her hair pulls her closer. Hell yeah. She takes her tongue away (to the sound of a disappointed whimper) and kisses Alex's cock instead. Another delicious sound from him, another involuntary tug at her hair. She tries mouthing at it, gently dragging and closing her lips over the sensitive skin.

"Ah. Ah-ah-ah, ah, _ahh,_ ohgod, Mal, _Mal!"_

That's certainly encouraging. Mal gently places her mouth over Alex's cock and hums.

"AH! Mal, oh my- aaaah, Mal! Yes, yes yes yes, oh, oh-"

He twitches - twitches! - in her mouth, and there's a spurt of liquid against her chin as he cries out her name. His thighs shake for a few moments, and then he pulls her off of him.

Mal licks her lips. "That fast?"

Alex whimpers and nods.

"That good?"

"Anything touching it either hurts or feels insanely good, and let me tell you, you were _not_ hurting me," he says weakly. "Fuck."

"Need a break?"

"Yeah. But - look, watch it."

So Mal looks down curiously and, slowly but surely, his cock softens, shrinking down a little. "Wow," she says. Suddenly, her own cock throbs, and she grabs at it compulsively. "Oh, fuck," she grumbles.

"Need to take care of that?" Alex asks, slipping back into a more dominant role. Mal nods. "Okay. I tell you what to do, and you do it, got it?"

"Uh-huh."

"First of all, hands off. No touching yourself until I say. You will, however, be touching me. Get lube on your fingers, let it warm up."

As Mal does so, Alex lets his knees settle on either side of her ribs, neatly bracketing her with his legs.

"Now, slick me up, just around my hole, don't go in yet," he orders.

"Fuck," Mal says quietly, doing as she's told.

"Make sure I'm wet. Add more lube if you have to, I want this to go as easy as possible, and I'm sure you do, too."

So Mal obligingly adds a bit more, until he's downright slippery, and looks up at him for her next instruction.

"One finger. Go slow. Your job right now is to get lube in."

Carefully, she nudges her slick index finger into his hole, rocking it in and out. Every now and then she'll pause to add more lube to her finger, then push that into him, too. He sighs contentedly.

"Make sure everything's wet. Spread it around, but that's all you're doing."

Mal crooks and rotates her finger, gently probing farther back to see if there's anywhere it doesn't glide. Luckily for her, there isn't.

"Okay," Alex says, confirming her observation. "Now two fingers. Again, slowly, and keep them straight and together."

Two fingers don't go in as easily as one, even with everything plenty slick, but Mal tucks them close together and keeps the pressure gentle but constant. Soon, she's up to her knuckles, and twists her fingers from side to side within his tight heat.

"You feel amazing," she murmurs. Her face is bright red, she knows, and she suspects the same of her cock, though she can't bring herself to take her eyes off of Alex and check. He certainly does, though, sweeping his gaze up and down her body, licking his lips when he pauses to stare deliberately at her erection.

"You _look_ amazing," he says roughly. "And you're starting to feel pretty good, too. More lube."

Mal complies, squirting what feels like almost too much lube into the divot between her fingers before sliding them (smoothly, she notes) back into Alex's body. A little rotation evenly slicks up everything, and Alex checks it for himself by clenching down on Mal's fingers a few times, fuck, that's hot, and then he stares her down with burning intent in his eyes.

"Bend your fingers," he commands. "Rub my g-spot, make me feel good, and watch my cock."

"Yes, Alex," Mal whispers compulsively. And she does, gently stroking and making circles on his upper walls, and as she does, as she watches, his cock hardens. It's not the same as hers, the one she's always had, but it's incredible in an entirely, wonderfully different way. _I want that inside me,_ Mal thinks, and suddenly doubles over with a moan, the hand inside Alex freezing while the other clutches at her thigh in a bid not to lose it and touch herself.

"What?" Alex asks. "You didn't touch yourself, did you?"

"No," Mal whimpers. She swallows hard. "I just - I thought - want you to fuck me with it," she spills.

"You _what?"_ Alex echoes, sounding more genuinely startled than anything.

"I want you to fuck me with your cock," she admits. "Your real one."

Alex is just staring at her, mouth agape, as she grows more flustered.

"Really? You actually- you know it- I can't really-" he stumbles.

"I know it's 'not much,'" Mal says, putting the words in air quotes, "but it's _yours,_ and it's _real,_ and it's _hard,_ and it's your _dick,_ and I want to at least try it."

"Uh," Alex says. "Oh. Wow. Fuck," he groans, the shock broken by unbridled arousal. "Fuck, you really want me to put my dick in you?"

"Yes," Mal says immediately.

"You want this little thing in your ass?" he continues boldly, as Mal lets out a strangled moan. "You wanna bend over for my cock? Wanna try and take me? You want my dick that bad?"

Mal nearly squeals, trembling as she puts every fiber of effort she has into keeping still. "Yes," she eventually gasps. "Yes, all of that, oh god, I feel like I'm about to come."

"Not yet. We can have me fuck you later, but right now, you're going to put your cock in me," he states. He hands her a condom, procured from who-knows-where (probably under a pillow) and shifts his hips up to slide a pillow under them. Mal knows the angle he's now tilted to. She's been in that position - by herself, with him, in her own mind - it's the perfect position for getting fucked. (Well, on one's back, at least.)

Somehow, she still hasn't let her fingers slip out of him, but she carefully withdraws them now, and attempts to open the condom packet. Her fingers just slide, and she looks up at Alex, who rolls his eyes fondly and holds out his hand. Mal grins sheepishly as he (successfully) tears the foil and hands it back to her. Now, putting on a condom, that she can do with one slightly slippery hand. She rolls it (slowly, _slowly,_ god, she's so hard) all the way to the base of her cock, then grabs the lube one more time in anticipation of Alex's command.

"Slick yourself up," he confirms, strong and confident.

"God, I love that voice," Mal tells him as she does.

"What voice, this voice?" he continues. "The voice I use to tell you what to do?"

"Fuck, yes. So fucking hot when you take control."

"Good," he says, grinning slyly. "Because I'm about to use it a lot more." Then, suddenly, Alex locks his ankles behind Mal's back, yanking her towards him. "Now spread me open and stick your cock in me," he demands. "You _will_ go slow, you will stop _immediately_ if and whenever i say so," he reaches up as he speaks to grab a handful of hair at the back of her head, "and you will. Not. Come," he says coldly, punctuating each word with a harsh yank.

Mal gasps and wails, clawing at the bedsheets as she fights down the rapidly mounting urge, but slowly settles enough to focus on her orders. She takes a deep, shaky breath, and reaches between Alex's legs, gently parts the fleshy lips on either side of his opening, and carefully positions the tip of her cock against him. As she begins to slip in, she senses that she almost hesitated long enough for Alex to scold her, and thanks whatever kept her from doing so in the split second before she feels her cock pop just inside the initial tightness of his hole and nearly loses it.

She must twitch or moan or something, because Alex immediately snaps, "Stop."

Mal does _not_ try to stop the pitiful sound that falls out of her mouth; she doubts she could even if she did, what with all of her effort divided between not moving and not _coming._ Alex is so hot, so tight and so wet, and Mal is absolutely trembling at the sensation.

"Oh, you're desperate for it, aren't you?" Alex taunts lightly. "You wanna shove that fat cock in my sweet little hole as far as it'll fucking go? Slide up into me until those tight balls touch my ass, is that right?"

"Alex, please," Mal begs. "Please stop, I can't - I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come, Alex, please don't make me-"

"Move." His voice is like stone as he grips tightly at her hair and flexes his knees just slightly to pull her farther into him.

Mal screams with the effort. "No no no, Alex, no please, oh _please_ let me stop, I-"

"You are _mine_ right now," Alex growls. Another primal sound tears from within Mal's chest. "That means you do what I say," he adds, yanking on her hair, "and what I say is that you. Don't. Fucking. Come, you hear me?"

"Ahhh, yes, I hear you, I hear you! Alex, please, may I have a break, I want to be good for you," she babbles. "I want to be your good girl," fuck, she's never said that before, "I want to do what you say but it's so hard, I need- I want a break, please. Please, Alex."

"...thirty seconds," he allows.

"Ohh, thank you thank you thank you, Alex, thank you," Mal groans, remaining frozen in place as she closes her eyes. She counts seconds in her mind to measure her breaths, and when she reaches 23, Alex asks,

"Got it together?"

"Unh. Yeah, I think so."

"Good." He pauses for a few last seconds. "Move."

Mal moves, achingly slowly but very, _very_ easily due to how slick they both are. It's still almost unbearably good, but enough less so that Mal doesn't feel the need to beg, only whine.

"You're doing good," Alex observes. "Keep going."

"Nnnh. Fuck, so- feel so good," Mal chokes out.

"I know," Alex says smugly. "Stop."

Mal groans, but manages it. She only has about an inch left to go, and she knows Alex knows that.

"When I say so, you're going to slide all the way in and stay there, got it?"

"Got it," Mal says tightly.

"Good girl."

The noise she makes is something probably best approximated by a keysmash. Alex chuckles.

"Knew you'd like that."

Mal nods. "Like being your good girl."

"Mine."

"All yours."

"So good for me. Even when you're desperate to suck my dick, you still listen perfectly. You tell me exactly what you want, how you want me to fuck you," he rumbles.

Mal knows he's expecting an answer. "Bend me over," she chokes out. "Push my face down and don't even put a finger in me, just slick up my hole and _shove_ your cock in my ass. Fuck me as hard as you can, just rub against me to get off if you have to, I'll be good for you."

"Dirty," he says affectionately, "I like it. You're just so needy you'll let me hump you just to have a taste of my cock, huh?"

Mal gasps and shudders. "Yesss," she hisses. "Yes, need your cock that bad."

"Mal, sweetie?" he asks, voice light.

"Yeah?"

He drops it as low and dark as it'll go. "Move."

She moans as she finally slides all the way into him, burying herself in his slick heat and relishing in the clench and ripple of his muscles.

"Good," he repeats. "Good, Mal."

"Thank you," she says breathlessly. "Oh, Alex, thank you. I love you."

"Love you, too. Now put your greedy dick to good use and _fuck me."_

Oh god. Mal doesn't know how she'll survive this if Alex keeps dirty talking to her like that. But she does as he says, and fuck, the slide out is even better than the push in, probably - _fuck_ \- because he's squeezing tight around her. She takes a deep breath, trying to keep steady, and slides back into him.

"Good girl," he says again. "Get down here and kiss me."

Mal happily falls forward to plant her lips on his, letting him take control of that, too. Just like the pace he's set her at, it's slow. He sucks at her bottom lip, nips at it before letting go. His tongue teases against hers, barely dipping into her mouth before pulling away. The hand in her hair completely lets go, strokes her head a few times before matching the other on her cheek. She feels loved, suddenly, being kissed tenderly and held at the waist by his legs as she slowly rocks in and out of him.

Alex breaks the kiss for a brief moment. "Go a little faster. You're doing so well."

Mal groans softly into his mouth as she does, fighting the urge to just give in and fuck him hard. One of his hands returns to the back of her head, slowly working fingers into her hair as if she won't notice.

"You don't wanna go this slow, do you?" Alex says.

"No," Mal admits with a moan. "Wanna fuck you, make you feel good. Please," she adds after his deliberate pause.

"Alright. Little bit more. Make sure you're hitting the right angle, got it? Aim up."

"Yes. Oh, _yes,_ Alex," she sighs.

"Unh!"

Finally, she thinks, even as she responds in kind.

"Ooh, yes, right there, Mal, keep doing that. Aah, y- ngh!" He tightens his grip on her hair and drags her face down to his neck. "Since you wanna suck me so bad, you can have this. Start out slow, or I'm going to get myself off and leave you hard," he threatens.

Mal makes some concoction of noises she's sure is embarrassing, but gently latches onto his neck anyways. She starts lightly, flicking her tongue just under the hinge of his jaw, then using just her lips to suck at it. He tilts his head back and away, and moans softly. Mal kisses his neck, open mouthed, making sure that she makes a little bit of noise. Speaking of, _fuck,_ she can hear the filthy wet sounds coming from where they're joined.

"That was - ah - an interesting noise," Alex remarks when she lets out a wobbly moan. "What are you thinking?"

"Uhn. I can hear - _nnngh,_ you're so wet I can hear me fucking you."

"You like the sound of fucking me when I'm wet for you, huh?" he repeats. "You want to hear it a little bit more?"

"A-a-ah," she stammers. "Yes please, oh-"

"Go a little bit faster, then. Keep that good angle, you're fucking me so well, and put more strength into it. Make me feel how confident you are. I _know_ how good you are with your cock, Mal, show me that you know it, to."

Mal gladly picks it up a notch, settling into a moderate speed with each thrust - _in-_ out, _in-_ out, _in-_ out - that makes Alex groan in appreciation.

_"Yes,_ just like that. Fuck me like you do when you're in charge and I'm begging for it."

Mal digs her hands into the sheets again, grasping at control as she rolls her hips smoothly, scraping the tip of her cock against Alex's g-spot and pushing deep into him until she bottoms out.

Her keen blends with Alex's throaty moan, and it takes him a while to override the pleasure sounds he's making, but when he does, fuck, the things he says.

"You know, someday, my cock won't be pinned down. I'll have surgery, let it free, and then I'll be able to get it _up,_ not just hard. Then I'll _really_ be able to stick it in you."

Mal trembles, and the pace of her hips stutters, jerking into Alex just a little too hard, and he grabs her hair tightly.

"What did I say," he growls.

"Ah! You set the pace," Mal rushes.

"And what did you just do?"

"Move without permission?"

"Yes, you did. What do you say?"

"I'm sorry!"

"What else?"

"I'm- uh- please- may I continue, please?"

"Please..."

"Alex!" Mal yelps. "Please, Alex."

"Yes," Alex confirms, loosening the hand in her hair. "Almost there. Just a few more minutes, and then you can really pound me."

"Oh, fuck," she moans, even as she starts thrusting again. "Oh, yes, you feel so good, you're so tight, so wet, perfect."

"I'm perfect for your cock?"

"Yes."

"Are you perfect for mine?"

_"Ooh,_ hah - ah, _fuck,_ oh god, yes, wanna be the perfect fit for your cock, want you to stick it in me."

"Just stick it in, huh? I bet you like that it's small enough I don't have to prep you. You like the thought of going from nothing to my entire cock," he accuses.

"Hghk- aaah, oh, _oh god, yes._ Fuck. Fuck, fuck, _fuck,_ yes. _So_ much yes."

"I bet you'd fall apart, clenching desperately around my cock because you want me to fill you up so badly. You'd stick your ass in the air and try and fuck yourself on it. I _know_ you want me to wreck you, you moan so pretty when I get my strap in your tight ass."

"Fuck," Mal whines. "Oh, oh - uhh, fuck. Alex!"

"You're about to lose it, aren't you, Mal? Lose control and _fuck_ me hard?" He flexes his internal muscles for emphasis.

"Fuck! Yes, yes, yes," she groans. "Please, can- may I-"

"Almost. Almost, hang on just a little longer. You'll know when," he says darkly, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "I want you to think about something. I know what you want even more than for me to fuck you."

"How do you - _I_ don't even - nngh, how could you possibly know that?"

"Get down here," he orders, not giving her much choice as he uses her hair like a handle. "I know what you want more than for me to put my dick in you," he says quietly, right up against her ear. Mal whimpers softly. Alex drops his voice to a whisper. _"You want me to_ **_come_ ** _in you."_

In the split second it takes Mal to actually register the words, he slips his hand out of her hair, and then tightens his legs like iron bars around her waist.

_"Now."_

Mal has no idea what kind of noise she makes, although there’s no way it could be anything but something primal and animalistic, as she finally, _finally_ drops her last shred of control and grabs onto Alex's hips to get the best leverage she can. He cries out as she thrusts into him, just shy of too rough, and throws his head back against the pillows. His drawn out, gasping moans are broken into rhythmic pieces as Mal lets her real strength out, rocking his body.

"Uh- uh- uh- uh- o-o- _ooh,_ Mal, yes- right- _there,_ oh fuck."

"Good?" Mal manages.

"Fuck," Alex repeats, scrabbling for the lube. "Yeah, good- _ngh!_ Fuck me so good, oh-h-h-h, _hnn_ \- ah, _yes!"_

"Are you- uhhf-"

"Yesss," he hisses. "Close. Gotta - I'm close. Good. Fuck, Mal."

"God, so good," Mal echoes.

Alex shoves his slicked up fingers between his legs, overshooting his cock by a little and brushing against Mal's, who yelps.

"Oh, a-a-ah! _Auhhh,_ yes, oh, yes!" Alex cries.

"Fuck. Almost- so close, Alex, please, I'm-"

"Mal, fuck, oh fuck, ah - oh, ohh _hah_ , yes- hard - er-! Mal! _Fuck_ me, fuck me harder," he gasps.

She couldn't do anything else if she wanted to. She knows she's probably holding onto his hips too tight, she knows he'll probably be sore, but he said to fuck him harder, _so she's going to fuck him harder._ He's tight, _so_ tight, rippling around her as he rubs clumsily, urgently at his cock, gasping and groaning out nonsense sounds.

"Alex, Alex, I'm, _I'm -!"_

"Uh, uh, uh, yes-! ngh, oh!- ah, fffkh, Ma- _aaaAAH!"_

Time stands still.

Ecstasy floods Mal's body, shivering from her scalp to her toes and everywhere in between. It throbs in her balls and spurts hard from the tip of her cock; she feels like she's bursting. Her vision is fuzzy, blurred, her mouth has fallen soundlessly open, and everything is frozen for those achingly long seconds that her orgasm wrecks her. Oh, god.

She suddenly falls out of the haze to Alex still shuddering and crying out, nearly immobile but for the tremors in his body. He gasps, sucking in a deep breath of air, does it again, and whimpers, still unseeing, as he draws his hand away. Mal just loosens her grip and watches. Watches as he shakes with an aftershock, his abs flexing as it rolls through him.

"Uh," he pants.

"Hey," Mal tries.

"Uh huh."

"Alex, hey." She takes her hands off his hips. "You with me?"

"Eh. Mmh- nghl-mos'."

"Almost?"

"Almost..." Then he sucks in a breath. "Hm?" His eyes, though still a little unfocused, snap to her.

"There you are," Mal says softly.

"Fuck."

"Yeah."

_"Fuck."_

"Uh-huh. You good?"

"That," he says, still a little out of breath, "is subjective. ...Yeah, I'm - _hoo boy,_ I'm okay. Wow." He's back to staring in the direction of the ceiling at nothing in particular.

"Yeah, wow. Can I -" she shifts her hips slightly.

"Oh. Yeah, go - go ahead."

"Okay."

Mal pulls out slowly, and Alex grimaces.

"Sorry."

"No, it's - _ah_. It's okay. Fuck me, that was good."

Mal doesn't even point out the obvious joke. "Yeah," she agrees, reaching for the condom. "Whoa."

"Whoa, what?" Alex hefts himself up onto his elbows.

"Look," Mal says simply. She's completely filled the tip of the condom, and it's oozing up past the head of her cock to the shaft.

"Holy fuck," Alex laughs as she carefully - moreso than usual - pulls it off. "Holy fuck!" he says again as she holds it up. "I've never seen you come that much before."

"Neither have I," she agrees, tying it off. "Wow."

"Oh, look, I -" Alex points.

"What? Oh, jeez, holy shit!"

Her pubic hair is downright soaked, as is Alex's.

"I guess I came a lot, too," he observes. "Here, want me to -"

"No, stay here, I doubt you can walk. I got it," Mal says, crawling over to the edge of the bed. Her legs wobble and feel very unsteady as she stands, but she manages it. "Whoo, that feels weird." She tosses the condom in the trash as she walks, slowly, to the bathroom.

"C'mere, let me clean you up," Alex says when she comes back. So she does, flopping onto her back on the bed and handing the wet cloth to him. He first wipes gently around the head of her softening cock - "I know it's sensitive, I'm sorry," he says when she grunts in discomfort. He then runs the cloth around the base of her cock, rubbing slightly at the hair to get as much of his come out as he can.

"Want me to get you?" Mal offers.

"Nah, I've still gotta get it. Too sensitive to let someone else do it yet," he explains apologetically.

"You're fine," she says, rolling onto her side to watch. He, for himself, too, starts at his cock - gritting his teeth and hissing at the oversensitivity - and moves on to his hole, gently wiping up all the excess lube on the outside, then folds the cloth and cleans up his pubic hair.

"Got anything else on you?" he offers.

"Just a lot of sweat," Mal says.

"Yeah, me too. We probably need a shower."

"We _definitely_ need a shower," she corrects. "Although, I don't know about you, but I could actually go for a bath."

"Ooh, yeah, let's do that. Help me up?"

"I'm not that steady," she warns, laughing.

"It's okay." Alex scoots up beside Mal as she swings her legs over the edge of the bed. She takes his hand.

"Together?"

"Together."

They stand up at the same time, then giggle at their questionable balance.

"You got it?" Mal teases.

"I got it," Alex grins. "Grab a couple pairs of underwear, and let's go get clean."

Mal has to step away from him slightly to get them, but she does, and they make it to the bathroom without any trouble. Alex starts the water, and Mal turns on the space heater so the air won't seem too cold.

"That was really good, huh?" she asks.

"Wow. Yeah. Uh, better than I thought it would be, honestly."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. Holy _shit,_ the dirty talk I came up with!"

"I know, right? I can hardly believe some of the things _I_ said, and I wasn't the one talking the most."

"I wasn't expecting you to beg that much."

Mal blushes. "Neither was I. _God,_ I've been so thirsty for you ever since your shower last week, though! You're a fucking tease!"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously! Have you seen how sexy you are? You've only gotten sexier on T, too."

"I didn't think you liked it that much," Alex says sheepishly.

"Didn't think - I have wanted to see your dick since you mentioned you finally felt like you had one, and wanted to suck it for just as long!"

"Wow. Um. So, you were serious about everything you said? You meant it?"

"When have I _ever_ pretended to be serious about something without telling you first?"

Alex carefully steps into the hot water. "Good point. I'm just self-conscious, y'know? Especially now I'm starting to look more like a cis guy, I kind of worry I won't measure up."

Mal follows him into the water. "Who cares about 'measuring up'? You're _you,_ not somebody else, you don't have to try and match some standard. Plus," she says as she sinks down into the bath, "I like you better than some cis guy."

The water is up to their waists when they're both sitting down, and Mal reaches over to turn it off. Alex slides the shower door closed to keep the water's heat in.

"Are you sure? I mean, we were talking a lot about my dick and -"

"Yeah, I like it 'cause it's _your_ dick, silly. I couldn't give less of a shit whether it's the same kind as mine, I like _you_ first and your body _because_ it's yours. Now, is it incredibly hot to think about you having an actual, all-yours, biological dick? Fuck yeah. Because that's something you've always wanted, and that I have, too, since I've known. Actually," she murmurs, "I think I like it better this way. I mean, I do have a gag reflex, and like this," she drags a hand through the water near his groin, "you won't get too big for me to suck all of you."

"Oh. _Oh,_ I didn't think of it that way, I - wow, fuck yes."

"There we go. Are you really planning on getting meta?"

"Yeah, of course, once I'm done growing. I really do want it to look like an original dick as much as possible, but without getting full phallo. It's not for me, and the healing alone would be a nightmare."

"Sure. I'll support you whatever way you go, but I honestly love that plan. Whatever your dick's like, it'll be perfect for me. The thought of it being - is home grown the right word? I feel like that's the right word."

Alex laughs and tips his head back. "Yeah! Yeah, that works. Home grown, oh my god."

"All natural dick?"

He snorts. "Organic dick?"

Mal chuckles, too. "Free range dick."

"Gluten free dick!"

She outright cackles at that one, and they both end up very giggly for a while.

"Ah," Alex sighs, smiling. "What were you saying?"

"Uh... your dick... Home grown, right." She laughs a little as she says it. "The thought of it being... that, is actually super hot? Like, you _worked_ for it, you _earned_ it, you _made it yourself,_ that's sexy as fuck. _God,_ I wanna touch it," she groans. "Can I touch it?"

"I want to say yes, but I'm too sensitive. You can touch me other places, though."

Mal immediately puts her hand on his thigh. "It's just so fascinating to me. You started out with so little, and it's - are you okay if I say it's little?"

"Yeah."

"I mean, it's still little, but so much bigger than it was at the same time, and that combination is... wow. I kind of... for some reason, I kind of like that it's small. I've already mentioned that it's perfect to suck, but I could jerk you off so easy. You'd fit perfectly in my hand. And you fucking me - I don't remember everything I said, but I _know_ I meant all of it."

"I think _I_ said most of the stuff about fucking you, actually."

"That would explain it. You had me tell you, though, how I wanted you to do it - which I _loved,_ by the way, very good thing to do - and oh, god, it was dirty. In the best way. I said I didn't want you to prep me, didn't i?"

"'Just lube up and shove it in,' or something along those lines."

"I _definitely_ meant that. That's another thing your size is perfect for. You won't get too much bigger than a finger, I don't think -"

"Correct."

"- so you really could just go _straight_ from ‘nothing’ to ‘dick in me.’ That’s hot as fuck.”

“Mmm,” Alex agrees, sliding down in the water. “Could just fuck you whenever I want.” Immediately, his eyes go wide and he slaps a hand over his mouth.

“Oh, ho-ho-ho!” Mal exclaims. “That’s a new one.”

“Yup,” Alex mumbles from behind his hand. He pulls it away and rubs his face, embarrassed. “Didn’t mean to say that.”

“It’s okay. I mean, I’m into it if you are,” Mal says, shifting around so she’s behind him, “we can talk about it more sometime.”

“Sometime. How are you feeling about just now, though?”

“Great. It was pretty intense, but I feel fine, and we’re coming down together, so I feel good about that, too.”

Alex scoots down further and tips his head back into the water. Mal obligingly scrubs her fingers through his hair.

“Me, too,” he says, sitting up. “I didn’t do anything too harsh, so I’m not worried about that coming back to get me - well, except for kind of pulling you around.”

“By my hair? Don’t worry, hon, I loved it,” Mal assures, reaching for Alex’s shampoo. “Nothing any worse than brushing it out when it gets tangled, I promise. You’re fine.”

“Thanks,” he sighs as Mal rubs soap into his hair. “Ah, you’re amazing.”

“Aw, thank you. So are you. Hey, I didn’t hurt your inside bits too badly, did I?”

“Oh, not at all.” Alex puts his head back into the water for Mal to rinse. “That’s why I had you work up to it.”

“Oh, yeah,” she says as he straightens up again. “And use approximately a gallon of lube?”

He snorts. “Yeah, that, too. Thank fuck we use water-based.”

“Thank fuck, indeed. Can you imagine the nightmare if we didn’t?”

The water splashes slightly as they shift around so Mal’s in front of him.

“I’d be trying to use the shower head to get it all out, and I wouldn’t even enjoy myself,” he chuckles.

“Pfft. You sure?” Mal teases, sliding down so she’s in the water. “I know what T’s done to your sex drive.”

Alex waits until her ears are out again to answer. “Fair point, but I’m tapped out right now. _You_ said you doubted I could _walk.”_

“I think you phased out of _existence,_ Alex, that was a perfectly fair assumption to make.”

“Ah, shut up. Like you didn’t,” he says affectionately, scrubbing shampoo into her hair.

“I came back faster, though.”

“Yeah, you weren’t the one who got _fucked_ out of existence.”

“You sayin’ I got a magic dick?” Mal laughs. Alex pushes her into the water. She laughs harder. “Is that what you’re saying?”

“You know full well it’s not, you jerk,” he says, amused. “If anything, _I_ do. It wasn’t there... but now it is. _Poof.”_ He flicks water past her as she falls back against him. “Prest-o, change-o, penis create-o!” He barely manages to get all the words out before he’s laughing too hard to talk.

_“Penis create-o?!”_ Mal wheezes.

Alex tries to respond, but all that comes out is some sort of failed, sputtering absurdity, so they just laugh harder.

After a lot of laughter, some splashing, and yes, some actual washing up, they’re out of the tub and wrapped in towels to dry.

“You hungry?” Mal asks, squeezing out her hair.

“Ooh, yeah. We got mac’n’cheese?” Alex says from the floor where he’s sat in front of the space heater.

“That’s what you wanna have? Mac’n’cheese?”

“Why not?” He wipes the water off his ankles.

“Fair enough.” Mal checks herself over one more time to make sure she’s all dry. Alex tosses her a pair of underwear. “Yeah, we’ve got mac’n’cheese.”

“Sweet,” Alex says. He stands up and puts on his own. “I’ll make that, you make the hot dogs?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Mal flicks off the heater. “Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...i'm very tired, so i hope everything made sense. thank you so much for reading, and please leave a comment/kudos if you like, it lets me know you're enjoying these!


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